two.

in the middle of the night i was sleeping sitting up,
when a doctor came to tell me, «enough is enough.»
he brought me out into the hall
i could have sworn it was haunted
and told me something that i didn’t know
that i wanted to hear:
that there was nothing that i could do to save you
the choir’s gonna sing, and this thing is gonna kill you
something in my throat made my next words shake
and something in the wires made the light bulbs break
there was glass inside my feet and raining down from the ceiling
it opened up the scars that had just finished healing.
it tore apart the canyon running down your femur,
i thought that it was beautiful, it made me a believer
and as it opened i could hear you howling from your room
but i hid out in the hall until the hurricane blew
when i reappered and tried to give you something for the pain
you came to hating me again and just sang your refrain

you had a new dream, it was more like a nightmare
you were just a little kid, and they cut your hair
then they stuck you in machines, you came so close to dying
they should have listened, they thought that you were lying
daddy was an @sshole, he f@#ked you up
built the gears in your head, now he greases them up.
and no one paid attention when you just stopped eating.
eighty-seven pounds and this all bears repeating.

tell me when you think that we became so unhappy
wearing silver rings with nobody clapping
when we moved here together we were so disappointed
sleeping out of tune with our dreams disjointed
it killed me to see you getting always rejected
but i didn’t mind the things you threw, the phones i deflected
i didn’t mind you blaming me for your mistakes
i just held you in the doorframe through all of the earthquakes
but you packed up your clothes in that bag every night
and i would try to grab your ankles (what a pitiful sight.)
but after over a year, i stopped trying to stop you
from stomping out that door, coming back like you always do.
well no one’s gonna fix it for us, no one can.
you say that, no one’s gonna listen, and no one understands
so there’s no open doors and there’s no way to get through,
there’s no other witnesses
just us two.

there’s two people living in one small room
from your two half-families tearing at you
two ways to tell the story no one worries
two silver rings on our fingers in a hurry
two people talking inside your brain
two people believing that i’m the one to blame
two different voices coming out of your mouth
while i’m too cold to care and too sick to shout

you had a new dream, it was more like a nightmare.
you were just a little kid, and they cut your hair,
then they stuck you in machines, you came so close to dying.
they should have listened, they thought that you were lying.
daddy was an @sshole, he f@#ked you up
built the gears in your head, now he greases them up.
and no one paid attention when you just stopped eating.
eighty-seven pounds and this all bears repeating