οι σιωπές μας.

..είναι η απόσταση, το ξέρω.
τα φύλλα που πέφτουν πιο νωχελικά αυτό το φθινόπωρο.
οι αλλαγές που έρχονται σιγά, αλλά έρχονται.

κάθε χρονιά μοιάζει ξεχωριστή από εδώ και πέρα.
με τα χαμόγελα μας, με τα νέα πρόσωπα, και τα τραγούδια που χαράζουν τις στιγμές μας.
η φωτιά που ανάβουμε στον λόφο για να ζεσταθούμε, και ο άνεμος που τη χαιδεύει.

η σαύρα μέσα μου έρπει και γελάει.
ξέρει πιο πολλά από μένα.
η παπαρούνα με μεθάει και μοιάζει διπλή, τριπλή, πολλαπλή.
δε με βοηθά να συγκεντρωθώ.
πολύς θόρυβος. πολύ χάος. πολύ απ’ το πολύ.
και αρχίζω να ξεφυσάω πάλι.

δεν ξέρω αν είναι αργά. αν είναι νωρίς. αν πρέπει ή να μην πρέπει. πια.
αλλα δε με νοιάζει. θέλω να μη με νοιάζει.
θέλω την κάθαρση που μου δίνεις.
θέλω τη λάμψη.
θέλω το απόλυτο.
και θέλω να υπάρχω σε πολλές στιγμές.
και να τραγουδάω, να σου τραγουδάω και να να να να να.

έλα να μοιραστούμε τη σιωπή.

who are you?

You only love yourself
You only care for you
I think I hit the truth
Better days will come,
Other scenes to get on,
You watch your village cave in kid

You only see one way,
And I don’t feel the same
You make it hurt honey
Easy figure of groove,
Modern mistress of fire,
For me to train, say my name
Who are you?
Who are you?

but it’s the tears on your face.

you went out with your best sweater on
with every intention of dancing till dawn
but when the dj played that song, it all went wrong
crying in the cabride home
with frank sinatra on the radio
but it might as well have been lil kim
when every song you hear still reminds you of him

and you’ll say that it’s no big deal
but it’s the shake in your voice
that gives it away, how you feel
and you couldn’t slam the door any faster

and you’ll say that it’s no big deal
but it’s the tears on your face
that give away how you feel
and you’ll say tonight
tonight was a disaster

στο όνειρο.

αγκαλιάζουμε το χάος και δεν κρυώνουμε.
κοιτάμε τα παλιά και γελάμε με τις ανοησίες μας.
λάμπουν τα μάτια σου, κλαίμε, και πάλι λάμπουν.
πού? δεν υπάρχει αλλού.
το χέρι σου είναι μέσα στο δικό μου.
όλα αλλάζουν και γίνονται ομορφότερα.
όπως το μπλε λεωφορείο, η γαλάζια κυριακή και το μαντολίνο που δακρύζει από ευτυχία.
όχι δεν είναι μάταιο.
πρέπει να σταματήσει να είναι γλύκα μου.

ανοίγουμε τα μάτια και χαμογελάμε.
τριγύρω μας όλα πέφτουν, όλα συνθλίβονται, μη σε νοιάζει.
μην τα κοιτάς.
μην τα αφήσεις να σε πονέσουν.
κι αν το ‘κανες, αν πόνεσες, αν έπεσες, αν πέθανες μαζί τους, μαζί θα αναστηθούμε.
μαζί πεθαίνουμε εμείς. δεν το βλέπεις?
μη μου χαμογελάς μόνο, θέλω να μου γελάς.
για να υπάρχω και να ζω, δε μου φτάνει η επιβίωση, όχι πια.
είμαι γυμνός. με βλέπεις στον κήπο. που φρόντισες εσύ να είναι όμορφος.
γιατί ξέρεις.
χα! ναι ναι ξέρεις.
μην το αρνείσαι.
και μην ξεχνάς, μην αλλάζεις χωρίς εμένα.
μην αναστένεσαι χωρίς να με πάρεις μαζί.
δε θέλω να θυμάμαι το γέλιο σου, θέλω να το βλέπω.
θέλω να το κοιτώ να αλλάζει, να ομορφαίνει, να ωριμάζει, να τρελαίνεται, να πονάει, να τραγουδάει, να ψιθυρίζει, να με παίρνει αγκαλιά.

είναι από τις μέρες που κοιτάω και δε βλέπω.
που αναπνέω αλλά δε ζω.
στείλε μου μια ηλιαχτίδα μόνο, να με πάει στο σύννεφο, και να με ρίξει στην αγκαλιά σου.
δε με νοιάζει τίποτα άλλο.
αρκεί να σ’ έχω αγκαλιά.
και να σου λέω και να μου λες, να μου γελάς και να σου γελάω, και όλα να είναι όμορφα!
όλα να χορεύουν.
να σπάνε και να χορεύουν.

η άγρια μου αγάπη.
πάμε στην έρημο?
πάμε στο βουνό?
πάμε μακριά?
πάμε?

έλα.
στο όνειρο.

be patient, love, nothing’s for sure.

this time it’s
indifferent
to our walk and that is for real
less pray on ungodly chase
be patient, love,
in hope we endure

this time it’s
indifferent
to our walk and that is for real
a car crash
a cancer’s fast
be mindful, love, humble and near
this time it’s unprejudiced
careless, love,
loose and unclear

it’s the right place
the only place
be patient, love,
nothing’s for sure
it’s the right place
the only place
be patient, love,
nothing’s for sure

you keep ending up in my shaking hands.

rain on the bard
clinging water mark
and your hands are what i had
and calls up what i can

ring you and me
shake memory free
cant scratch the open sun
cant chase away the hope
I’ve buried you
in every place I’ve been
you keep ending up
in my shaking hands

rain sound the alarm
and stain my broken heart
the things violinist
buried in my gut
there are chances or choices
sometimes you just have to cut

ive buried you
every place i move
you keep ending up
in my shaking hands
i have buried you
with my shaking hands
you keep ending up
every place i been

i have buried you
every place ive been
and you keep ending up
in my shaking hands
you keep ending up
every place ive been
in my shaking hands
every place ive been

what did you say that for?

And I’m waiting for the day
I know you’ve got your part
And I’m waiting for the day
I know you’ll have the heart

And I’m hoping that you’ll say
That you loved me all this time
But it turns out just the same
And you break apart the things I had

Hold on, what did you say that for?
Hold on, what did you say that for?
Hold on, what do you take me for?
Hold on, what do you take me for?

And I’m waiting for the day
Inside my mother’s clothing store
And I’m waiting for the day
What am I waiting for?

Hold on, what did you say that for?
Hold on, what did you say that for?
Hold on, what do you take me for?
Hold on, what did you say that for?

I wanted to see this for myself.

With my eyes closed I’ll look closer
I’ll always remember

Juggernauts screaming to a stop
Sound like devils are laughing

I wanted to see
I wanted to see
I wanted to see this for myself
I wanted to see
I wanted to see
I wanted to see this for myself

These dark pubs we drink in
Somehow light up when I’m with you

I wanted to see
I wanted to see
I wanted to see this for myself
I wanted to see
I wanted to see
I wanted to see this for myself

I wanted to see
I wanted to see
I wanted to see this for myself
I wanted to see
I wanted to see
I wanted to see this for myself

For myself
For myself
For myself

it’s time you rise or fail.

You’re on in five, it’s time you rise or fail.
They’ve gone before, stood by your door all day.
For what it’s worth, defend your kind from shame.
The lights are down, go on inside, they’ve paid.
You’re the face in stone, through the land I own.
You never found it home.
You’re not the girl I used to know.

What would you hide from such a glow
If I had only told you so?

You’re on in five, it’s time you rise or fail.
They’ve gone before, stood by your door all day.
But you never found it home.
A fair price I’d pay to be alone.

What would you hide from such a glow
If I had only told you so?

this world is a mistake.

when everyone you have ever loved is finally gone
when everything you have ever wanted is finally done with
when all of your nightmares are for a time obscured
as by a shining brainless beacon
or a blinding eclipse of the many terrible shapes of this world
when you are calm and joyful
and finally entirely alone
then in a great new darkness
you will finally execute your special plan
one needs to have a plan someone said who was turned away into the shadows
and who i had believed was sleeping or dead
imagine he said all the flesh that is eaten
the teeth tearing into it
the tongue tasting its savor
and the hunger for that taste
now take away that flesh he said
take away the teeth and the tongue
the taste and the hunger
take away everything as it is
that was my plan
my own special plan for this world
i listened to these words and yet i did not wonder
if this creature whom i had thought sleeping or dead would ever approach his vision
even in his deepest dreams
or his most lasting death
because i had heard of such plans such visions
and i knew they did not see far enough
but what was demanded in a way of a plan
needed to go beyond tongue and teeth and hunger and flesh
beyond the bones and the very dust of bones and the wind that would come to blow the dust away
and so i began to envision a darkness that was long before the dark of night
and a strangely shining light
that owed nothing to the light of day
that day may seem like other days
once more we feel the tiny legged trepidations
once more we are mangled by a great grinding fear
but that day willhave no others after
no more worlds like this will follow
because i have a plan
a very special plan
no more worlds like this
no more days like that
there are but four ways to die a sardonic spirit might have said to me
there is dying that occurs relatively suddenly
there is dying that occurs relatively gradually
there is dying that occurs relatively painlessly
there is the death that is full of pain
thus by various means they are combined
the sudden and the gradual
the painless and the painful
to yield but four ways to die
and there are no others
even after the voice stopped speaking
I listened for it to speak again
after hours and day and years have passed
I listened for some further words
yet all I heard were the faintest echoes reminding me
there are no others
there are no others
was it then that I began to conceive for this world
a special plan?
there are no means for escaping this world
it penetrates even into your sleep
and is his substance
you are caught in your own dreaming
where there is no space
and a hell forever where there is no time
you cant do nothing you aren’t told to do
there is no hope for escape from this dream
that was never yours
the very words you speak are only its very words
and you talk like a traitor
under its incessant torture
there are many who have designs upon this world
and dream of wild and vast reformations
i have heard them talking in their sleep
of elegant mutations
and cunning annihilations
i have heard them whispering in the corners of crooked houses
and in the alleys and narrow back streets of this crooked creaking universe
which they with their new designs were made straight and sound
but each of these new and ill conceived designs
is deranged in its heart
for they see this world as if it were alone and original
and not as only one of count with others
whose nightmares all precede
like a hideous garden grown from a single seed
i have heard these dreamers talking in their sleep
and i stand waiting for them
as at the top of a darkened flight of stairs
they know nothing of me
and none of the secrets of my special plan
while i know every crooked creaking step of theirs
it was the voice of someone who was waiting in the shadows
who was looking at the moon and waiting for me to turn the corner
and enter a narrow street
and stand with him in the dull glaze of moonlight
then he said to me
he whispered
that my plan was misconceived
that my special plan for this world was a terrible mistake
because, he said, there is nothing to do and there is no where to go
there is nothing to be and there is no one to know
your plan is a mistake,he repeated
this world is a mistake, i replied
the children always followed him
when they saw him hopping by
a funny walk
a funny man
a funny funny funny man
he made them laugh sometimes
he made them laugh oh yes he did
he did he did he did he did
oh how he made them roll
one day he took them to a place
he knew a special place
and told them things about this world
this funny funny funny world
which made them laugh sometimes
he made them laugh oh yes he did
he did he did he did he did
oh how he made them roll
then the funny man who made them laugh
sometimes he did
revealed to them his special plan
his very special funny plan
knowing they would understand
and maybe laugh sometimes
he made them laugh
oh yes he did
he did he did he did he did
their eyes grew wide beneath there lids
and how he made them roll
i first learned the facts from a lunatic
in a dark and quiet room that smelled of stale time and space
there are no people
nothing at all like that
the human phenomenon is but the sum of densely coiled layers of illusion
each of which winds itself upon the supreme insanity
but there are persons of any kind
when all that can be is mindless mirrors
laughing and screaming as they parade about
in an endless dream
but when i asked the lunatic what it was
it swore itself within these mirrors
as they marched endlessly in stale time and space
he only looked and smiled
then he laughed and screamed
and in his black and empty eyes
i saw for a moment as in a mirror
a form the shade of divinity
in flight from its stale infinity
oftime and space and the worst of all
of this world dreams
my special plan for the laughter
and the screams
we went to see some little show
that was staged in an old shed
past the edge of town
and in its beginnings all seemed well
the miniature curtain stage glowed in the darkness
while those dolls bounced along on their strings before our eyes
and in its beginnings all seemed well
but then there came a suttle turning point which some have noticed
and i was one
who quietly left the show
no i did not
because i could see where things were going
as the antics of those dolls grew strange
and the fragile strings grew taut
with their tiny pullings ,tiny limbs
the others around me became appalled
and turned away and abandoned the show
that was staged in an old shed
past the edge of town
but i wanted to witness what could never be
i wanted to see what could not be seen
but the moment of consummate disaster
my puppets turned to face the puppet master
it was twilight and i stood in a grayish haze of the vast empty building
when the silence was enriched by a reverberant voice
all the things of this world it said
are of but one essence
for which there are no words
this is the greater part which has no beginning or end
and the one essence of this world for which there can be no words
is that all the things of this world
this is the lesser part which had a beginning and shall have an end
and for which words were conceived solely to speak of
the tiny broken beings of this world it said
the beginnings and endings of this world it said
for which words were conceived solely to speak of
now remove these words and what remains it asks me
as i stood in the twilight of that vast empty building
but i did not answer
the question echoed over and over
but i remained silent until the echoes died
and as twilight passed into the evening i felt my
special plan for which there are no words
moving towards a greater darkness
there are some who have no voices
or none that will ever speak
because of the things they know about this world
and the things they feel about this world
because the thoughts that fill a brain
that is a damaged brain
because the pain that fills a body
that is a damaged body
exists in other worlds
countless other worlds
each of which stands alone in an infinite empty blackness
for which no words are being conceived
and whereno voices are able to speak
when a brain is filled only with damaged thoughts
when a damaged body is filled only with pain
and stands alone in a world surrounded by infinite empty blackness
and exists in a world for which there is no special plan
when everyone you have ever loved is finally gone
when everything you have ever wanted is finally done with
when all of your nightmares are for a time obscured
as by a shining brainless beacon
or a blinding eclipse of the many terrible shapes of this world
when you are calm and joyful
and finally entirely alone
then in a great new darkness
you will finally execute your special plan

It’s gonna make you mine!

Take the blood out of an alligator, heh
Take the left eye out a fish, heh-heh
Take the skin off of a frog, heh-heh
Heh, and mix it all up in a dish

Add a cup of green swamp water
And then count from one to nine
Spill over your left shoulder
You got alligator wine

Alligator wine, ha-ha, ha-ha
Your porcupine, ha
It’s gonna make you mine
Oh yeah! It’s gonna make you mine

It’ll make your head bald, baby
I say, it’ll make your toes freeze
It’ll turn your blood turn into steam (FSHHH!)
It’ll make you cough and sneeze

You gotta scream like an eagle
You gotta roar like a mountain lion
When you get finished drinkin’
Good old alligator wine

Alligator wine
Your porcupine
It’s gonna make you mine

Meet me at the stroke of midnight
By the swamp down in the wood
I’m gonna make you love me, baby
Like you never thought you could

You gonna break my magic potion
And your bloodshot eye is gonna shine
You gonna be scared forever
Too much alligator wine

Alligator wine
Your porcupine
It’s gonna make you mine

Alligator wine…

oooooooooh!

Every bird in is word in our wonderland
I always call to tell you that I’m on the way.
I can handle anything from you everyday..
So I’ll just go hang out with losers friend anyway.

Every bird in is word in our wonderland
I always call to tell you that I’m on the way.
I really use that money I loaned you yesturday..
I’ll have to tell you I just can’t be your friend.

Oooooooooooooh ooohhhhhoohhh

Daddy is a really rocker hardcore.
I always call to tell you that I’m on the way.
I can handle anything from you everyday..
So I’ll just go hang out with losers friend anyway.

I can’t handle always being with you.
I always call to tell you that I’m on the way.
I can handle anything from you everyday..
Sad to say you always never come around.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh